Humor/Satire/Parody

I’m here to talk about today’s fashion. It’s really important for everyone to know the 411 about clothes. First of all, I want everyone to know do not wear jean with jean. DO NOT. If you plan to wear a jean jacket when you’re wearing jeans, that aint pretty. Do you really want to look like Britney Spears in 2001 at the American Music Awards? She worn jean everything, and people are still talking about it today.

Now that’s out of the way, I’ll list some basics. If you want to wear leggings or yoga pants, do not wear underwear that shows the lines. Honey, no one wants to see those Fruit of The Loom heart shaped grannie panties. People will notice. Next, when wearing a dress, make sure you are wearing the right shoes. Don’t wear a nice dress then wear vans or converse. You’re trying to look nice, with the shoes it just looks…wrong. But, if you don’t have any other nice shoes then you do you honey. It’s up to you.

Lastly, I want to talk about makeup. When girls do those cute winged eyeliner, it looks nice. Then, there are those girls who make their eyeliner too thick. Girl, you look like a panda attacked your face. Some girls just put on the worst makeup. They will cake themselves with foundation. Some will put on the craziest eye shadow, that doesn't even match with anything. Then, there’s those girls who wear obnoxious red lipstick to school. You’re in school, why are you wearing lipstick?! Who do you think you are? Only Taylor Swift can rock red lipstick. Do you want to look like a Barbie doll?  I’ll gladly help you with your makeup. It’s not a good idea going to school looking like Dracula.  

If you get offended by my advice, I’m sorry. These are just things that I don’t think are pleasant. XOXO, Nicole.